Where do I stand on the whole men’s right to be manly vs. a woman’s right to equality?
I’m not sure these two things are in conflict.
I know. I can hear your gasps from here. Take a moment for yourselves.
I’m a “straightest path is through the mud” sort of guy, so lets just wallow in and get started.
During the dawn of man, gender roles weren’t a question. There were no words for it. There were hunters / protectors and there were babymakers / cookers. Easy, clear lines of work and no one was confused as to what they should be doing.
They weren’t confused because if anyone didn’t do their part they either died or someone else died. The consequences were measurable. We’re going to use this term a bit in this post so let’s be familiar with it.
Measurable is the ability to measure something or place a value on it.
You have things that are measurable in your life already. When you pay for a house and you own it it’s measurable. When you gain ten pounds of muscle from working out that’s measurable.
Clear? Measurable is tangible. It’s easy to define.
So if a woman didn’t cook a meal and her husband died because he was too weak to fight off a velociraptor that’s a measurable outcome. If a man didn’t hunt down food and his kids starved to death that’s a measurable outcome. If a woman refused sex and the population of the tribe dwindled that’s a measurable outcome.
In a more modern world, i.e. right now, those roles are not so important. Back in the 60′s and 70′s the western world was experiencing an unprecedented time of abundance. The need to guard your family was minimal, if you didn’t want kids you didn’t have to have them, and hunting had been replaced with shopping for deals at the local grocer. Because of this new sense if ease, it didn’t matter who did what role. The roles of hunter / protector and babymaker / cooker were no longer measurable.
Technological advances had made a world where a women could do most any job a man could have done in the past. For instance a demolition crew in the past was a group of men swinging sledgehammers for eight hours as the tore down walls and broke foundations. Fast forward to modern day when a bulldozer can tear through a house faster and cheaper. All you need is the knowledge to work the levers. Anybody could do anything, further erasing our measurable lines of responsibility.
The ground had been evened out. The lines of gender roles became blurred.
Feminism evolved at the only period of time it could have. After the need for hunters and protectors had passed and technology largely eliminated the need for brute strength.
Is feminism a terrible thing? I don’t think so. Granted, I’m married to an amazing woman that I enjoy being around. I’ve never met the kind of feminist I read about in mens forums who seem hellbent on removing the testicles of men so they can themselves wear them. I’m sure they exist, but I suspect they’re the “vocal minority” who’s extreme message attracts a lot of attention.
I would think if you don’t want to be in a relationship with that kind of woman you could see her coming from a mile away.
I think women should have the right to vote and live without being forced to procreate. I like that my
wife is an educated woman who can hold a conversation with me. I love our relationship, where we’re equals but she looks to me to lead and run our family. She’s an amazing cook and an amazing director where she works. I like that kind of definition in our relationship.
What would it take to reinstate those measurable roles from history? In short, we would need to return to those times when half of the responsibility relied on men’s brute strength and excitement of danger to provide and women would need to repopulate the earth and make a home for the human race to survive.
Feminism isn’t the enemy of our manliness. We are and have always been our own enemy. Finding a life of ease and letting go of the hunter / protector role has changed the definition of how to be a good man.
What will it take to bring it back? Do we need to bring it back? What is the new definition? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think.
this post first appeared on bettermanblogspot.com